Russell Simmons Doesn't Like My Outfit

 I was on a group trip with a bunch of teachers and they were taking us to a swimming pool on a bus. I really didn't want to go and I didn't have a swimsuit, so I snuck out of the group and was trying to make my way back to the University of Seattle, where we were staying. I realized I didn't have my phone and I didn't know which direction to start walking. I was naked and wrapped in a white towel but I walked into a restaurant and up to a group of guys, explained my situation, and asked if they would use Google maps to find the route for me. They acted like I was asking for money or something and wouldn't help me. I went back out on the street and was standing at a corner when a car pulled up beside me. Russell Simmons got out of car and said, "You should never wear a puffy vest with a tight fitting shirt underneath!" Somehow my towel had changed into jeans, my purple vest, and a long sleeved black shirt. I continued walking and asking people for directions, but I could never seem to get anywhere. As I was walking into a building, a tall man held the door open for me and complimented me on my outfit. I laughed and said, "Thanks! Russell Simmons doesn't like it, but I'm glad you do!"

Mom and the Restaurant

Mom and I owned a restaurant that had just opened. She was the cook and I was the waitress. At first business was slow, but it started to get busier throughout the day. I was taking orders left and right, trying to keep drinks refilled, and trying to get orders to the kitchen. Mom came out of the kitchen and sat down in a booth. She said, "I just don't think I can do this anymore." I looked at her crazily and said, "You can't do that! We need to feed all these people who are sitting here and then you can quit! Now go back in the kitchen and make this woman a plate of meatloaf. I forgot to put her order in."

Sam, UFO, and Shrunken Mom and Susan

I was on a camping/hunting trip with the Grammers and Sam was with me. I was in the tent when I heard a gunshot and Steve came running up to tell me that Sam had been killed. He had been fighting with a fox and Mike had to shoot him to put him out of his misery.

Next I found myself at mom's house driving dad's car. She had an upper garage and a lower garage and I was trying to figure out where to park. I told her that Sam had died, but then reached into the car and pulled out a new puppy. I told her that I just couldn't stand going home to a quiet house without Sam. We were standing in the driveway and I looked up in the sky. There was a dark shadow that turned into a UFO, hovering above us. Other neighbors gathered around, but no one would believe that it was real. Then it shot across the sky. I decided I had to follow it to find out if it was real.

Somehow Mom and Susan had been shrunk down into tiny people and were riding in the front seat of the car while I chased the UFO. They kept commenting on my driving, telling me to slow down and not hit the bumps in the road so hard. I pulled up to a library and went inside to read about UFOs. I ended up in a classroom of kids with a couple of male teachers. We started playing music and listing things on the board from the lyrics. I had a giant sound system that rolled around on a 10 foot tall cart. We danced and sang and had a good time. Then I realized I needed to get back to the car where Mom and Susan were waiting.

I walked outside and there were lots of people walking around and shopping. I stopped in a Mexican fast food place and bought a burrito and an enchirito. As I was walking back to the car I saw some ceramic tiles over a hole in the ground and a sign that said "Please step" so I stepped on the tiles. They broke beneath my feet and my legs fell into the hole. As I was trying to extract myself, a woman walked up with an angry look on her face and I realized that she was an artist and I had just ruined one of her pieces. I tried to explain that I was just doing what the sign said, but then she pointed out that the sign said "Please step around." I was very apologetic and told her that my dog had died that day and I was just trying to get home. She forgave me.

I got back in the car and Mom and Susan crawled into the bag of fast food for the ride home. When I got back to mom's house, I was sitting in the attic unwrapping my food and laying it out before me on the floor. Mom and Susan were nowhere to be found! I panicked and started playing the afternoon back, trying to figure out where I had left them. Then mom called from downstairs and she was back to her normal size. I was relieved.

Living in Japan

I was teaching at a school in a small town in Japan. But none of the people in the town were Japanese, everyone spoke English, and it looked like a small town in America with a Main Street and a diner. I taught in a cute little school. One day I was leaving the school and walking to my car, which was parked in a tree (as they do in Japan). It was winter and there was snow everywhere. I stood at the base of a tree, about to climb up to my car and thought to myself, "I'd better make sure this is my car before I climb all the way up this tree." So I looked up into the tree and decided this was not my car. I started walking from tree to tree, looking up trying to find my car. Villagers came to help me and I ended up riding in a sleigh with some people.  I never did find my car.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

I've been binging on episodes of Jerry Seinfeld's "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee." Had a dream last night that I was one of the comedians Jerry came and picked up for coffee. I sat in the backseat of the car for some reason and was cracking Jerry up with my jokes. He kept turning around and looking at me, laughing his ass off.

Tornadoes

Russ and I were traveling from Tulsa back to Norman when we got caught up in a series of storms. Looking out the window, I could see 35 tornadoes swirling around us. I frantically called mom to let her know we were ok. She was very upset, but I assured her we would be fine.

The Murder of the Houseboy

I was working at the Y, but all the teachers and kids from Lincoln were there. At one of the entrances, there was an Asian man who arrived with his houseboy. They were standing outside and I could tell the boy was afraid of the man. Then the man suddenly grabbed the boy and ran a knife across his throat. I ran to the front desk to call 911. I told them about the man and that I thought it was a ritualistic killing. When I got back to the entrance, there were fire trucks and ambulances everywhere. The body had been removed, but there was a large blood stain on the sidewalk. Kids were crying and I saw a man with blood all over his shorts kneeling down and consoling a child.