Putnam

I was giving a tour of Putnam to kids in my class. The gym had been turned into the library and they were tearing down the wing that came out of the old library. The walls had been torn down and there were lumber and tools and concrete all over the place. I was trying to get them to envision the hallway and the classrooms.

Seal in the Shower

I was in our house in Ft. Collins and about to take a shower. I was letting the water run to get hot before I got in. I pulled back the shower curtain and saw a giant frog sitting in the tub. Then it morphed into a cute seal with whiskers. It freaked me out and I called for dad. He came into the bathroom with a blanket to wrap around the seal and get it out of the tub. As I was standing in the hall waiting, I kept thinking, 'How the hell did that seal get in the tub? Through the drain?"

Skating with the Stars

I was one of the "stars" on the TV show "Skating with the Stars" (which is weird since I've never seen the show). Christina Aguilera was my biggest competition and we didn't like each other. I don't know who my partner was, but I remember thinking that he had to be a pretty big guy in order to lift me up the way the tiny girls were being lifted. I was very confident in my ability to win the competition and I remember turning to Christina as we were sitting in the audience and saying, "I haven't even watched my tape back yet, but I'm sure I did better than you did."

The Vet

Mom told me about a new vet I should go to in an area of town I had never been to before. I drove down a road and followed a car to an old-fashioned shopping mall that reminded me of the Century Mall in Ft. Collins. The car drove through an archway, directly into the building, and parked in the middle of the mall. There were elderly people sitting on benches and shoppers walking by. I got out and saw the vet's office right away, but then realized I had forgotten to bring the dogs with me. I got back in my car and drove home to get them. Upon returning, I parked the car and walked to the office again, leaving the dogs in the car. I couldn't believe I had done it again and went back to the car to get the dogs. I could see them jumping up and down in the car, barking at me, anxious to get out and see the new vet.

My Neighbor Goes to Jail

Denise was mad at me for the dogs barking and was standing outside my window yelling at me. I encouraged her, planning to call the police and have her arrested. She was trying to sell me something and I knew that if I bought it, it would make me look better when the police came. I used my cell phone to place an order for $600 and immediately, boxes of whatever I had ordered were stacked against my wall. I stuck my head out the window and she continued yelling at me. Somehow I enticed her into my house and then called 911. When the police arrived, they immediately bent her over and handcuffed her. She looked so ashamed and knew she had been caught red-handed, trespassing in my house. I explained to the police what a horrible woman she was and they took her away. She was in the process of trying to adopt a little boy and she realized the arrest would halt the adoption. I felt bad for her, but I was so happy to get revenge. The next day when I came home, mom and dad were at my house and mom said she had gone through my text messages and saw where I had placed the order. She knew that I had manipulated the situation to get Denise arrested and was very disappointed in me.

Paris

I flew to Paris and when I got off the plane, I found myself with a woman and her boyfriend. They invited me to stay at his house, which he described as very modest. We drove down a busy highway and then turned onto a road across from a large mall. There were Dr. Seuss trees lining the lane and we pulled up to a stone cottage. When we first entered the house, it was very small and he told me he was in the process of remodeling. It had stone floors and a quaint kitchen with an old-fashioned stove and refrigerator. I was enchanted and kept telling him, "This is exactly what I pictured a French house would look like!" I ran from room to room, up and down stairs, and through crooked passages. I went outside and saw the pool and beautiful landscaping and realized the house was a mansion. I called mom and told her what a wonderful time I was having, but she was very worried that I was staying with strangers and didn't want to hear more. At one point, a man asked me a question in French. I understood him, but replied, "Si." Then I realized I had answered in Spanish, not French, and quickly said, "I mean oui!" He laughed at me. Another woman entered the dream and I realized she was pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. She was somehow related to either the guy or his girlfriend. We became friends and cooked dinner together in the beautiful kitchen. Her parents arrived to take her away and make her have the baby. At first, they seemed very friendly and I sat on the couch talking to them. Then her dad started making passes at me and trying to touch me under the pillows on the couch. I kept telling him no and tried to stay away from him. At the end of the dream, they caught the pregnant girl and were trying to force her into a car. She was crying and I gave her a big hug and told her everything would be alright. I whispered in her ear that I had been in the same situation more than once and she looked at me surprisingly, but also relieved.

The Octopus

The pond in my backyard was enclosed in a little gazebo with benches all around it. A large octopus lived in the pond and would crawl out and sit on one of the benches. I was very scared of the octopus, but didn't know how to get rid of it. It was pink and it would stick its suction cups on the windows in the gazebo.

Christmas with the Grammers

The Grammers lived in Colorado and we went to visit them for Christmas. It started to snow and got very cold, but we were all snug inside the house. There was a dog giving birth to puppies, but no one thought the puppies would survive because it was so cold. They were in the house, but mom said we should put them in the refrigerator to keep them warm (???). At one point we were all riding in an old-fashioned car down a snowy road. Then it was Christmas morning and we got dressed up in Dr. Seuss costumes for all the kids. We blew a loud horn and they came running down the stairs to see us all standing in a circle singing like the Whos in Who-ville. Steve, who looked like Brooks Smith, was engaged to a really wealthy woman. Bill, who looked like Craig T. Nelson, drove into the living room in an old-fashioned convertible and then drove into the garage. He drove back into the room in a different car and crashed into a wall.

Walmart

I went shopping at Walmart and when I went to the parking lot, I couldn't find my car. I searched everywhere and finally came to the conclusion that it had been stolen. Mom and Susan were with me and I called 911 to report the theft. The 911 operator was very rude and hard to understand. He kept asking me a question that I just couldn't decipher, so I asked him to spell it for me. Exasperated, he said, "A-P-L . . ." but the word he spelled didn't make any sense. I handed the phone to mom to see if she could figure out what he was saying. All this time, we're wandering around the parking lot trying to figure out how we're going to get home. I was surprised when mom was very short with the operator and a little aggressive.

Stuck in the Mud

Lynne Clayton and I were at her house. We both worked at Jefferson and had to be there by 2:45 for a meeting. We were running late because we had been swimming. We finally got changed and she called Kathy to tell her we were on our way. We got in her car, which was a crazy-looking old van, and started driving to school. We came to a muddy dirt road and Lynne decided to try and drive through it. We were immediately stuck and started sinking. I knew we had to get out or we would drown in the mud. My leopard-skin seatbelt was very tight, and I was trying to keep myself from panicking as we sunk deeper and deeper. I finally got the seatbelt off and started rolling down the window. We both crawled out and stood on the side of the road looking at the half-submerged van. A group of kids walked up and ran out on to the mud slipping and sliding. I started to yell at them to stop, but then realized that they weren't going to sink.

Lil' Wayne

I wrote a rap song that I wanted to record with Lil' Wayne, so I went to his house. He was standing in the driveway with a couple of friends, leaning on a pickup truck. He didn't look like the real Lil' Wayne - he was kind of Hispanic looking and very handsome. I was embarrassed to show him my rap, which was written on notebook paper and stuffed in my jeans pocket. He smiled at me and laughed and told me to come into the house with him and we could get down to business. He made a comment about me being "thick with a nice ass." His house was huge, with lots of rooms, and there were people everywhere. He led me upstairs into a bedroom where there were several couples having sex. I quickly backed out of the room and stood in an alcove, waiting for him. I peeked back into the room several times to see where he was, but he had disappeared. The people having sex didn't even notice me.

Sam and Rudy and Russ

I lived in the house that David Gray is buying. The backyard was huge and had a lot of landscaping around the fenceline. I was walking around looking for places where Sam and Rudy could escape. I found some holes where they had been digging and put rocks there. Then I realized that they had already escaped and weren't in the yard with me. I saw them across the street playing with some other dogs. I called Rudy and he came running to me, but Sam was being pinned down to the ground by a big dog. I panicked and started running toward him. He jumped up and came to me.

Next, I was with Russ somewhere and we were fighting. I had a key to his house and I drove there with him following behind in his car. I ran into the house and was going from room to room, very upset. I saw stuff that said "honeymoon" on it and threw it out the window. I also saw a pair of earrings and put them on. He came into the house behind me and was trying to settle me down, but I was crying and screaming at him. I ran out to my car to leave and he followed me, asking for the earrings. I pulled them out and threw them into a field. I was backing out, trying to leave, but there was a lot of traffic and I couldn't get out. He was still standing there trying to talk to me.

The Scary Man and the Sparks

I was in a bathroom in someone's house. There was a big, tall scary black man trying to get me and some other people. We heard him coming and I ducked into the shower. Suddenly the light fixture started showering hot sparks on us. The people in the room with me ran out under the sparks, but I pushed myself further back into the shower. The sparks stopped and I heard the man entering the bathroom. The space I was in was very small and I was sucking in my stomach and squeezing up against the wall, hoping he couldn't see me. He turned to chase after the other people and I stepped out and called to him. He came toward me and I grabbed him and started kissing him. I thought I could make him like me and forget about hurting us.

Marco and the Fried Fish

I was at Marco's house with Susan. His house was a mess, but he was trying really hard to impress me. I was cleaning up his bedroom while he was in the kitchen making breakfast. He called me in to eat and the table was set with pretty plates and cloth napkins. I had fried a whole fish the night before and he was serving that with bacon and sausage. I told him that Susan was a vegetarian and he looked really crestfallen. I sat down and ate some bacon. We left the house and were walking down a dirt road in the snow. Suddenly I remembered Susan and asked him if she was still at his house. He told me that his roommates would take care of her. We walked a long way and then went back to the house. Susan was asleep in a bedroom.

Swingers

Heather Cook and her husband came over to my house for dinner. They casually revealed that they were swingers when Heather took off her shirt and paraded around topless. In my dream, I went to bed and told them they could sleep in the guest room. In reality, I woke up from my dream and actually had to check the guest room to make sure they weren't there.

Working at the Y

I was working at the Y at the front desk. A Japanese man stepped up to the counter to enroll in swim lessons and Jenny passed him off to me. The man said something in Japanese to his friend, but I could tell he was mad that Jenny didn't want to help him. Jenny said to him, "You intimidate me and I don't want to mess up your account." He set a tray of candies on the counter and pushed it toward me. Most of the holes had a candy in them, but a few did not. I took that to mean that he wanted to enroll in swim lessons for all of the holes that had candy in them. Somehow I knew how they corresponded to the lessons we offered. I started enrolling him and Jenny pointed out the weird payments in his journal. I got all of the lessons entered and then he told me that the empty holes represented the lessons he wanted, not the full holes. I said, "It would have been nice if you'd told me that first." I left the front desk to go into the women's locker room. I changed into my swimsuit and got into the pool for a quick dip. As I was getting out of the pool I looked down and saw that my boobs were popping out of my suit and you could see my nipples. I went back into the locker room and noticed children everywhere. I started herding them out and telling parents that this locker room was only for women over 18. One woman had 6 kids with her and I said, "You did this last week and we told you the rules. You may not bring your children in here. You can use the family locker room. There are naked women in here!" It seemed like the more kids I got out of the locker room, the more they came in. I finally gave up and went back to the front desk in my swimsuit with my hair wet.

Village Green

I was in Ft. Collins visiting Village Green pool. It had been remodeled and was now an indoor pool. The tennis courts had been converted into a diving area. Very modern and nice, but I missed the old pool. I was talking to someone and asking them about the renovations, and they told me that the old pool was still there, it was just behind the new one. We walked around a corner and there it was! It was like seeing an old friend. Then I saw David Gray and said, "What are you doing here?" He told me he was coaching a team. I said, "This is my pool from when I was growing up!" He was surprised and let me show him around.

Travels in Russia

This dream is a compilation of thinking about Holly traveling around the world and reading about Ayla and Jondalar. I was in either Russia or Africa - it kept changing - and I was traveling with a group of people across a barren plain. We were walking. Very fuzzy, but I remember being captured and put into a giant net with other people. The net was lowered into a river inside a factory. There were dead people in the net and body parts floating by. A man was screaming to be let out. I told someone that I hated Russia.

High School/Hotel Maze

I was back in high school but it wasn't Pampa High. I was in a classroom and Scottie Miller was at the front of the room reading a part from a Reader's Theater. His part was a gay man and he was making fun of it and acting grossed out. Students were raising their hands and making comments. I stood up and told him that he was being very offensive, that no one thought he was gay, and that he should stop being so immature and just read the part. Cason Crabtree was in the class and he stood up and left the room. The teacher called his reading group to the table and I told her I would go find him. I said, "He can't read! He needs to be here for his reading group!" Then mom walked into the room and over to Susan's desk. She started giving a lecture on nutrition and used Susan as her example of someone with good eating habits. Then she said something about how I eat too much cheese and I stood up to leave. She told me not to come back.

Suddenly I found myself checking into a hotel room for some sort of conference. The hotel was huge and was attached to a grocery store. I got to my room and had to punch in a code to open the door - 3500. I put my things away and left the room to go attend the conference. As I was walking, I looked down and saw that I only had on socks and had forgotten to put on shoes. I walked up a staircase to get back to my room, but found myself in the grocery store. I came across a large vending machine that I had to crawl through to get to my room. As I was hoisting my leg up and through a small window, a male teacher came up behind me laughing and told me that I didn't have to use the vending machine. He led me back into the hotel and we found what I thought was my room, but the code wouldn't work. I began walking through a maze of hallways and into a Mexican restaurant that looked like Casa Bonita. They weren't open for business yet, and all of the employees were standing around in the dining room. I was becoming so frustrated that I couldn't find my room and I woke up saying, "I just want to find my room! Please help me find my room!"

The Proposal

I was in an audience watching my boyfriend give a speech. He was an NBA player and was receiving some kind of award. I was sitting in the front row next to my friends. In the middle of his speech, he stopped and said that he had something important to announce. He pulled a ring out of his pocket and asked me to marry him. I started crying uncontrollably and put the ring on my right hand. It was a circle with a pearly middle, surrounded by diamonds. All of my friends were really excited about the ring, but I didn't really care. I couldn't believe that I was actually going to get married.

Hotel Court

Russ and I were staying in a hotel. Our room had two queen size beds and an Asian couple was sleeping in one of them. In the morning, a maid came into our room and said she would have to take us to hotel court for having too many people in our room. We were all in bed and I started to protest, but then she saw Russ rolling a blunt and I knew we would have to go with her. We all followed her down to the lobby to hotel court. We were in a room with a bunch of other people and most of their cases were dismissed. Then we had to follow her to a second room where the judge was. There were student desks for us to sit in while we waited our turn. As I sat, I looked down and noticed a bag of weed sitting in the chair. I deduced that someone had left it there so they wouldn't get caught with it on their person when they went before the judge. I sat on top of it and whispered to Russ, "Look!" He had a bag of weed on top of the desk and was sifting through it. "What are you doing?" I exclaimed. "Do you want to go to hotel jail?"

My Name is Diane, and I'm a Prostitute

I was a prostitute who charged $20 for 20 minutes. My first client was a tall, skinny white man. He was a little nervous, but I was completely confident and told him he could have whatever he wanted as long as it lasted only 20 minutes. I walked toward him and pushed him back onto the bed. I unzipped his jeans and pulled out his penis. As it got hard, it got longer and longer. I had to back up about 3 feet from him to be able to put it in my mouth. I said, "You've got to be kidding me!" He couldn't believe that I was able to deep-throat him.

Pit Beef Sandwiches with Tiger Sauce

Watched Man v. Food before I went to bed and dreamed about pit beef sandwiches all night long. Also dreamed about Italian beef sandwiches dipped in au jus, dripping wet and delicious. Long, steamy Italian rolls and oily giardinera danced in the background.

Killer in the Courtroom

Journey Houck was in a custody hearing with his siblings. The judge was a very large old man with a thick gray beard and glasses. When the judge ruled that they could not stay with their parents and would become wards of the state, Journey pulled out a machine gun and shot and killed the judge along with several other innocent bystanders. The videotape of Journey shooting the judge was broadcast all over the country and people were shocked at what they saw. Journey had somehow escaped the courtroom and was on the run. I was at school teaching and heard about this on the news. When Journey walked into the classroom, I couldn't believe he was there. I welcomed him like I normally would and he sat down in our circle for class meeting. Another teacher came into the room and I whispered to her that this was the kid they were searching for. We quietly started planning an evacuation. The school morphed into a ship and I was trying to evacuate all 400 kids without Journey figuring out what was going on. I was very afraid of Journey and didn't want him to know that I knew what he had done. I was herding kids onto boats and pushing the boats away from the ship. Journey was sitting by himself and was very upset. I was still afraid of him, but I realized that he was just a child and I tried to sit with him and comfort him.

Matthew McConaughey

I was in a house with a bunch of women, including Holly. We were sitting around talking when Matthew McConaughey walked in. Some people already knew him. He sat beside me on the floor and we started talking about dogs. Then he leaned over and kissed me and we started making out. His lips were very soft. He got up and left the room and Holly looked over at me and said, "What the hell?" I couldn't believe it either!

Baseball with Obama

I won tickets to a baseball game that I really wasn't interested in until I looked at the tickets and realized that my seat was right in front of President Obama. I went to the game and was escorted up to a luxurious skybox with beautiful curtains fluttering in the breeze. Behind the curtains, I saw Asian women giving massages. President Obama took my arm and walked me to my seat. I sat down amongst a group of celebrities to watch the game.

Chili on a Bicycle

I was in a big city near a football stadium. Lisa Linke was working in a library and I worked with her. Russ was somewhere nearby and he called and told me he wanted me to bring him some of my chili. I put it in a bowl and got on my bike to take it to him. It was really hard trying to ride a bike while balancing a bowl of chili and I ended up dropping the bowl. Chili went everywhere, including all over my cell phone. I was trying to call Russ but my phone wouldn't work because it was covered in chili.

Pregnant

I went to the hospital to find out if I was pregnant and they told me that I was. They wanted to induce labor, even though I didn't think I was ready yet. I had only gained 5 lbs. and thought I still had several months to go. There were lots of other women there who were all about to give birth and it was like an assembly line to get into a delivery room. Amy was with me and she said I should call Russ and my parents. I called Russ, but I was really nervous to tell my parents. I finally did and they came to the hospital. Dad was ok, but mom was really mad and disappointed. She said that I had ruined their plans to move to Georgia. The dream went on and on with me waiting to deliver and mom being mad at me.

Death and a Black Woman

A relative of mine, an old black woman, was having her 99th birthday party. It made sense in the dream for the party to have a George Washington theme. When I arrived at the party, everyone had on long, curly, white, powdered wigs and the house was decorated in red, white, and blue. The woman was sitting on a couch and I sat down next to her. We were at Grandmother Kathleen's house and she started showing me places around door jambs where I had penciled little notes throughout my life. Most of them were dated, so I knew when I had written them. I cuddled up next to her and laid my head on her shoulder. A guy came by with a camera and said, "That makes the perfect picture!" He shot a couple, then started rearranging my hair and positioning me just so. I was sad because I knew the woman was going to die soon and I was going to miss her. I asked her what she thought was going to happen when she died. She told me something about Jesus, and I said that I wished she could come tell me where she was after she passed away. I cried and hugged her.

Ben Affleck

I was in a house with Ben Affleck and we were sitting at a table having a conversation. He was very amused by me and we started flirting. I knew he was married and had two kids and I didn't want to break that up, but we were very attracted to one another. He went to the bathroom and I walked around his living room looking at pictures. He finally came out and told me he had stopped up the toilet. I helped him unclog it. We were laughing hysterically and having a good time. I left and walked to a bridge going over a river. Some kind of explosion had occurred and the ground was scorched. There were ambulances and police officers everywhere. I started walking back to Ben's and then saw him coming toward me in a van with Matt Damon. He leaned out the window and gave me a high five, telling me how much fun he had had with me.

Abraham Lincoln's Home

The dream started with me, mom, dad, Susan, and Russ all in the car going somewhere. Mom insisted that we stop at 7-11 so she could get me some cream for a rash I had. She couldn't find any, so while everyone else was shopping, she asked me to get in the car with her and drive down the street to Walgreens. I felt weird about leaving everyone at 7-11, but she said we would be right back and they would never know we were gone.

Next, I was with Laurel and we were pulling up to an old house. We went inside and started snooping around. We found a secret passage in a closet and had to climb through on our hands and knees. We kept following the path through a cave and it led us past waterfalls. Then we had to crawl across a very narrow beam that led us outside again. It was like stepping back in time. There were old buildings and houses and dirt roads. We walked up to one of the houses and two little girls came out to greet us. They were very friendly, but were dressed like they were from the 1800s. When we asked questions about where they went to school, they didn't say anything. They took us inside the house and we realized that it was Abraham Lincoln's house. Everything was set up as if it were a museum and we couldn't believe all the wonderful things we were seeing. There was a closet full of clothes and I said, "This would be great for Halloween!" The girls led us back outside and we sat down at a wooden table. An old woman came out carrying a plate of pull-apart bread. We all started eating. The bread was sweet and sticky and delicious. Linda Belau walked up and sat down with us and asked Laurel and I how we had found this place. She already knew about it because she had been shooting a movie there the day before. We told her we had found the secret passage. She was carrying a package of Twinkies and offered some to the old lady and the two little girls. They each took a bite, but they were awful compared to the pull-apart bread. Linda apologized and said something about all the preservatives used in foods in the future.

Anthony Bourdain

I was at the Village Green pool swimming with friends, but I had to work at the Y at 1:00. I decided to go in late and was trying to make a phone call on a payphone. There was a bank of phones outside the pool office, but I couldn't get my call to go through. A guy was trying to help me, but he'd never used a payphone before and had no idea what he was doing. Every time I placed the call, it would call someone that had just called the front desk at the Y. I finally gave up and decided that they would just have to wait for me to get there at 4:00. Anthony Bourdain was a lifeguard. I didn't have my car with me at the pool and needed to go home and get work clothes. I asked Anthony if I could borrow his car. He was hesitant, but then tossed me the keys. He drove an old, beat up pick-up. I went home and got my clothes, then drove back to the pool. Then I realized that I didn't have a way to get to work. I asked him what time he got off to see if he could drive me to the Y. He told me that he didn't think he'd be able to get his truck out of the mud. I told him that I'd parked in the parking lot, not in the mud, but he said he had moved it. I looked outside and saw his truck in what can only be described as a mud cave. It was like a big pile of mud that he had pulled his truck into, with the rear end sticking out. I decided I'd have to walk to the Y and started getting all of my stuff together.

Fucking Longhorns!

Colt McCoy, Sam Bradford, and I were in a restaurant discussing football. I was explaining to Colt that although I thought he was an excellent football player and I had nothing against his team, I couldn't stand fucking Texas fans! He just smiled in agreement with me and said, "Yes, they are pretty awful."

River with the Grammers

Susan and I were visiting Mike and Steve. They lived in an amazing treehouse with many levels on the banks of a river. We climbed up and up and Steve showed us the latest level he had added. We decided to float the river so I changed into a swimsuit and dove into the river. They had inner tubes for us to lay in as we floated. Susan jumped in with no clothes on. As I was floating by her, I grabbed her hand and pulled her into my tube. She sat on my lap and I said, "You really should put some clothes on."