Abraham Lincoln's Home

The dream started with me, mom, dad, Susan, and Russ all in the car going somewhere. Mom insisted that we stop at 7-11 so she could get me some cream for a rash I had. She couldn't find any, so while everyone else was shopping, she asked me to get in the car with her and drive down the street to Walgreens. I felt weird about leaving everyone at 7-11, but she said we would be right back and they would never know we were gone.

Next, I was with Laurel and we were pulling up to an old house. We went inside and started snooping around. We found a secret passage in a closet and had to climb through on our hands and knees. We kept following the path through a cave and it led us past waterfalls. Then we had to crawl across a very narrow beam that led us outside again. It was like stepping back in time. There were old buildings and houses and dirt roads. We walked up to one of the houses and two little girls came out to greet us. They were very friendly, but were dressed like they were from the 1800s. When we asked questions about where they went to school, they didn't say anything. They took us inside the house and we realized that it was Abraham Lincoln's house. Everything was set up as if it were a museum and we couldn't believe all the wonderful things we were seeing. There was a closet full of clothes and I said, "This would be great for Halloween!" The girls led us back outside and we sat down at a wooden table. An old woman came out carrying a plate of pull-apart bread. We all started eating. The bread was sweet and sticky and delicious. Linda Belau walked up and sat down with us and asked Laurel and I how we had found this place. She already knew about it because she had been shooting a movie there the day before. We told her we had found the secret passage. She was carrying a package of Twinkies and offered some to the old lady and the two little girls. They each took a bite, but they were awful compared to the pull-apart bread. Linda apologized and said something about all the preservatives used in foods in the future.

Anthony Bourdain

I was at the Village Green pool swimming with friends, but I had to work at the Y at 1:00. I decided to go in late and was trying to make a phone call on a payphone. There was a bank of phones outside the pool office, but I couldn't get my call to go through. A guy was trying to help me, but he'd never used a payphone before and had no idea what he was doing. Every time I placed the call, it would call someone that had just called the front desk at the Y. I finally gave up and decided that they would just have to wait for me to get there at 4:00. Anthony Bourdain was a lifeguard. I didn't have my car with me at the pool and needed to go home and get work clothes. I asked Anthony if I could borrow his car. He was hesitant, but then tossed me the keys. He drove an old, beat up pick-up. I went home and got my clothes, then drove back to the pool. Then I realized that I didn't have a way to get to work. I asked him what time he got off to see if he could drive me to the Y. He told me that he didn't think he'd be able to get his truck out of the mud. I told him that I'd parked in the parking lot, not in the mud, but he said he had moved it. I looked outside and saw his truck in what can only be described as a mud cave. It was like a big pile of mud that he had pulled his truck into, with the rear end sticking out. I decided I'd have to walk to the Y and started getting all of my stuff together.

Fucking Longhorns!

Colt McCoy, Sam Bradford, and I were in a restaurant discussing football. I was explaining to Colt that although I thought he was an excellent football player and I had nothing against his team, I couldn't stand fucking Texas fans! He just smiled in agreement with me and said, "Yes, they are pretty awful."

River with the Grammers

Susan and I were visiting Mike and Steve. They lived in an amazing treehouse with many levels on the banks of a river. We climbed up and up and Steve showed us the latest level he had added. We decided to float the river so I changed into a swimsuit and dove into the river. They had inner tubes for us to lay in as we floated. Susan jumped in with no clothes on. As I was floating by her, I grabbed her hand and pulled her into my tube. She sat on my lap and I said, "You really should put some clothes on."