String in My Gums

I was looking at myself in the mirror and I saw a string dangling from my gums. I started pulling on it, pulling it out of my gums, around and around my mouth. It felt like I was unraveling a scarf I had knitted. Was the string man-made? If so, how did it get embedded in my gums? Was it a natural part of my body? What the hell was it? I pulled a big pile of string out of my mouth and when it began unraveling from my bottom jaw, it reached my eye tooth and blood begand gushing out of my mouth. I held my head over the sink wondering what in the hell was happening to me?!

Kathy

We were in a faculty meeting and Kathy Taber told us that the students in her OU class had taken a survey and decided that laminators were old-fashioned and shouldn't be used anymore. I argued with her that I used the laminator a lot and didn't think we should get rid of it. Then we started doing some stupid exercise where we had to read a passage and code it according to a chart she had posted on the wall. I didn't understand what to do and when she walked by our table and noticed I had nothing written down, she confronted me. I got very angry and walked out of the meeting. I went to the workroom and started looking through my mailbox, furious with Kathy.

Sunday Dinner

Russ and I went to his parents' house for a Sunday dinner. There were a lot of people there and I was very nervous. Russ left me alone with everyone while he went to take a shower. It was very crowded around the table and his mom kept filling my plate up with food. She had made some sort of spaghetti casserole. People were asking me questions, but I wasn't hearing them correctly and my answers were strange. We were watching people swim in a pool on TV and there was a couple having sex in the pool. Someone made a joke about them and said, "I wonder what you name a child conceived in a pool?" I suggested, "Chlorine" and everyone thought I was so funny! Russ came into the kitchen dressed only in a towel and I thought he was so sexy. When it was time to leave, Russ headed out to the car while I was gathering my things. When I got outside, I was in a parking lot with a lot of cars and I couldn't figure out which one he was in. I stood on the curb with all of my bags hoping he would see me. He pulled up in a beat-up pickup truck and we drove away.

Blake Griffin

Blake Griffin was my boyfriend. He was at school with me with mom and dad, and we were organizing kids and sending them through some kind of enrollment process. He had such a cute smile and was really enjoying working with the kids. He kept touching me, hugging me, putting his arm around me. I was worried that he'd find out how old I was. We were calling out names of kids and sending them through lines to sign up for a Thanksgiving dinner. Then we ended up in a house, laying on a bed and cuddling.

Basketball

I was in charge of sports at the Y again and I organized a co-ed basketball league. During one of the games, a girl fell and knocked out one of her teeth. I picked her tooth up off the floor and walked with her to the front desk where I got her some ice packs. Her face was bloody and she was very upset that she had lost a tooth. A man came up to me and told me what a great league I had organized. He was very complimentary and interested in my background. I told him I was a teacher and that the Y was just a part-time job. He seemed surprised.

Swimming

Dad and I were at a pool and he was coaching me. I swam a 50 fly so well that I surprised myself. It felt effortless and I wasn't even tired when I finished. Dad was very impressed.

Amy's House

Amy and Matt moved into a new house and I brought Mel and her girls over to see it. It was a huge old house with 4 stories. The 3rd floor was a sports bar with red and black furniture, a bar, round tables and chairs, pool tables, and huge TVs. The stairs to the 4th floor were rickety and there were boards and construction equipment everywhere. There were beams across the ceiling and a giant Neptune holding a trident was painted on the wall. The room had an ocean theme and there was blue sparkly paint on all the walls. The house was so big that you could get lost wandering around in it. An old lady had sold it to them for very cheap, but there was a lot of work to be done to it.

Mr. Den and Russ

I looked like an adult, but I was back in school and Mr. Den was my teacher. I scored very high on a reading test and he was praising me for my ability. Then he told me that I had to pay some type of tuition to stay in the school, but no one else had to pay it. I got mad and told him I thought that was discriminatory and that I would just drop out. He got mad too and told me to leave. The class gasped as I picked up my stuff and walked out the door.

The parking lot looked like the one at Pampa High School and I was running, looking for my car. Mom and dad had left their stuff in my car and were standing in the parking lot talking to someone. I told mom what had happened and she wanted to go talk to the principal. The principal was a tall woman and she got scared when I used the word "discrimination" when telling her what had happened because she was afraid of a lawsuit.

Next, I found myself in some type of hotel in a conference room watching a performance by children. I think they were kids from my school, but I wasn't allowed to participate because I had dropped out. Russ was staying in a hotel room, but I didn't know which one. We had had a fight and I was trying to find him so we could make up. I kept running into people from my past as I was looking for Russ. I finally found him, but he was still mad and wouldn't really talk to me. I was so desperate to make things alright between us.

It's Gettin Hot in Here

Benny and the Jets

Japan

Russ and I were on vacation together with Sam. We were in a nice hotel, but Sam got out of the room and was bothering people on the elevator. Russ told me we were going to fly to Japan. A man who was leading the tour asked me if Russ and I were ever going to get married and I told him I didn't know. We got into a plane to fly to Japan. It was like an amusement park ride and was open on the sides and had glass floors so you could see the ground beneath your feet. I was so excited to go to another country! When we landed they started herding us to a boat. I had to go to the bathroom so they showed me where to go and told me they would wait for me. I expected Japanese bathrooms to be very clean, but they were smelly and dirty just like American bathrooms. The only difference was that there was a hole in the floor to poop in and a toilet to pee in.

Tornado

Ever since the storm on June 14, I've been having dreams about tornadoes. I can always see them in the distance coming toward me. The winds are so strong that a deep trench is being dug into the ground at the base of the tornado, and debris is flying through the air. In one of the dreams, I came out of the house after the tornado had passed and everything had been destroyed. I didn't even recognize my neighborhood because there were no houses or trees in sight.

Russ's Office

I was at Russ's office, which was like a house. It had a kitchen, bathroom, living room, etc. I was studying for a social studies CRT that I had to take at Jefferson the next day. Russ left me there by myself and I cooked stew and cornbread while he was gone. Then I decided to go look for him, so I got on my motorcycle and drove to Rodney's house. I went down an alley at the back of the house and I could hear Rayford and Rodney in the garage arguing over getting rid of stuff. I drove back to Russ's office and Russ arrived shortly after me with a bunch of kids. I was sitting on the floor organizing board games and they came running over to me wanting to play. I handed them "Hungry Hippos" to keep them out of the games I was trying to put back together. I decided to skip school the next day because I needed more time to study and I knew Lisa Linke would let me make it up.

Party with Jackson

It was the last day of school and Jefferson was having a joint celebration with Jackson. We were at Jackson in a big auditorium eating BBQ and watching a movie. I was sitting next to Amy and one of the Jackson teachers got up and started leading everyone in singing, "Jesus Loves Me." I looked at Amy and said, "I can't handle this shit" and went to the bathroom. I had BBQ all over my shirt and was trying to clean it off. Then I went into a stall to poop and there were goldfish swimming around in the toilet bowl. At first I was freaked out, but then I realized they were there to eat all the nasty bacteria and keep the toilet bowl clean. I thought it was a great idea, but I was nervous to sit down on the toilet because I thought the fish might bite me. I walked out of the bathroom and was looking at a new classroom they had built in their courtyard. Someone was pushing a cart full of food and it slammed into a display case and broke everything. Amy walked up and I was laughing at what had just happened. She told me I better be quiet or we'd get in trouble. We went back into the auditorium and the same teacher was leading everyone in a Thanksgiving prayer. All of a sudden I realized that the next day was Thanksgiving and I hadn't made any preparations. I said this out loud and several teachers who were standing around gave me this weird look like, "I can't believe you forgot Thanksgiving."

On the Road Again

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

Raise Your Glass

Hines and Seyi

I was in college and my boyfriend was Hines Ward. He was on the football team and he loved me very much. Susan was coming to visit and mom and dad were very excited because she was going to be playing in a band that performed at halftime of Hines' game. She arrived on a bus and I had to chase her down when she got off. I lost her and ended up running back to my dorm room. Hines morphed into Seyi at some point and he had a puppy that he put into a swimming pool. I was afraid the puppy would drown, so I jumped in to save it.

Goldie's

I was working at Goldie's again and it was like I'd never left. I was taking orders and entering them into the computer with ease. Then it started to get busy and hectic and I couldn't seem to remember how to do anything. I walked in the back to get something and found a door leading to another part of the restaurant I had never seen. It was a locker room with showers and benches. People were asking me if I planned on working there throughout the summer, but I said I was too busy.

My Brother and Our Massages

While doing genealogical research, I discovered I had a brother I had never known about. He was related to me through Grandmother Kathleen, but he was still my brother somehow. He was African American and looked like Dante's Big Brother, Kache. We met in the mall at my pedicure place and were talking about our family. I learned that Grandmother K had starred in a Hollywood movie when she was in her 20s. After my pedicure, I decided to get a massage and asked my brother if he would like one too. We laid down on massage tables right next to each other and continued our conversation. The massage therapists were Thai and were speaking to each other as they gave us massages, but we couldn't understand what they were saying. At one point, my massage therapist began plucking hairs around my ass by reaching underneath the towel that covered me. I was laying on my stomach so I couldn't see exactly what she was doing, but she was laughing and pointing. I was very embarrassed.

Basketball at the Y

I was playing in a basketball league at the Y and Vernon was in charge. He decided who the starters were, when to make substitutions, etc. At the end of the game I had only played 5 minutes and I was pissed! The next game was about to start, and there was a team that was one player short. I asked them if they needed a 5th, and Vernon intervened and told me I couldn't play because they were guys. "This is a co-ed league!" I yelled at him. But he wouldn't let me play. I stormed off to the front desk and filled out a comment card about the league. Vernon read it and then showed me one that someone else had filled out complimenting the league. I read it and yelled, "This was written by a 3rd grader, you idiot!" Everyone laughed at him and I could tell I had really pissed him off.

The Spirit Shop

I was standing behind the counter at the Spirit Shop with Amy. It was like an old country store with hardwood floors and barrels sitting in corners. She walked off to help a customer and a woman walked up with several boxes of wine and liquor. I started to ring her up, but I was slow with the cash register. Then another woman walked up and said she was selling weed from Missouri and Arkansas and wanted to know if we'd be interested. I started to panic as the store became busier and busier and children were running all over the place. A woman said they were hers and she knew they were underage, but that she wouldn't be long.