Drug Smuggling Grammers and Hermaphroditic Body

I was shopping with Laurel in downtown Norman on Main Street. It had been turned into a Chinatown and the stores were bright and full of trinkets. We walked a block over to a clothing store and were going through racks of clothes that were all very small because they were made in China. We couldn't find anything that fit. Mom called me and said she had just read an article in the paper about Vivian Grammer being arrested for smuggling $90 million of cocaine into the U.S. Apparently the Grammers had always been drug smugglers and I couldn't believe it. Bill just didn't seem like the kind of guy to live a life of lies!

Next I was in a dressing room with a mirror trying on clothes. I looked down and noticed that I had a penis. It was really big and erect. It suddenly dawned on me that I was a hermaphrodite. I was really sad and missed my vagina.

Possum Parts

I was mowing my backyard and kept coming across possum snouts and tails. They were pinkish-brown and they were all over my yard. I thought to myself that there must be a lot of possums shedding their parts, like snakes shed their skins, but the parts were rubbery not papery. Sam and Rudy were playing with the parts and I was trying to avoid them as I mowed the yard.

Drunk Scheryl

I was with Susan and we were looking for a Reading Rainbow store. We walked by Jefferson and saw a sports bar across the street, so we went in. I saw Scheryl across the room standing with a bunch of people drinking a cocktail. I went up to her and gave her a hug and could tell right away that she was drunk. She laughed and denied it and I said, "But it's the middle of the day and you have to go back and teach this afternoon! You're going to get fired!" She took a step backwards and fell into a glass coffee table, shattering it. Everyone stopped and stared and I ran over to help her. I picked her up off the floor and laid her on a couch where she curled up and went to sleep. Everyone was still staring and it was very quiet so I told them to go back to what they were doing. I was so worried she was going to get fired!

Weekend in New York

I rented an apartment in NY for a romantic weekend with Russ, but he never showed. Susan was there and I was trying to pack my bags and get to the airport. I was mad at Susan because she kept doing things to slow me down and I didn't want to miss my plane. We got into the car to leave and I realized I had left my shoes in the apartment. I ran back inside but didn't have my key, so I had to ask a housekeeper to let me in. I didn't have on any clothes, was just wrapped in a towel, and as we were standing at the elevator waiting the housekeeper kept trying to cover me up. I got my shoes and ran downstairs and there were two cops standing there. I told them I was trying to get to the airport and asked if they'd give me a police escort. Suddenly I found myself climbing up a wall at the airport, trying to take a shortcut to my gate. I started to slip, but there was a Vietnamese man at the top of the wall and he leaned over to help pull me up. I grabbed his hand, but didn't have any footing and knew he couldn't hold me. I slid down the wall and landed on the floor in frustration. My flight was leaving in 15 minutes and I knew I wouldn't make it. Some guys told me not to worry, that there was another flight leaving in an hour, but I couldn't be consoled. I was so pissed at Russ for not showing up.

New York Boyfriend

I was in New York and met a guy who was not my type at all, but I was interested in him. He was white, rich, and funny but not that good-looking. We went to his apartment, which was huge , and were having sex in his bedroom. He was very good in bed, but in the middle of sex two women walked in on us. We thought it was hilarious! I continued to hang out with him and he took me to several parties. I had a lot of fun with him. He reminded me of Jerry Seinfeld.

Lincoln Retreat

I was at a resort that had a pool and golf course with Lincoln teachers. Olivia had bleached her hair blonde. We were sitting around a large table and being served delicious food - sushi, bagels, and cream cheese, and tons of little appetizers all arranged beautifully on tiered trays. I found myself in a room with Michale Gentry trying to adjust the clothes I was wearing. I had on a long black skirt with a long tan chiffon skirt on underneath. I was showing Michale how I could pull the black skirt all the up to my armpits and wear it like a maxi dress. I went back to the room where the food was and they were packing everything up. I got a plate and served my myself some rice, then poured blueberry sauce over the top. I couldn't find anything else and I was so disappointed that I had missed the meal. Next I was in a golf cart riding around the resort. I slowed the cart down and jumped out when I saw some friends on the path. They said, "Diane, what are you doing???" as we watched the golf cart continue to go down the path and then crash into a retaining wall. I laughed and said I forgot I was the one driving the cart. I ran down the path to the cart and got back in, hoping it would still drive. I continued driving, trying to find a place to park it. I couldn't figure out how the brakes worked and could never get the cart to completely stop. A man and his teenage children tried to help me and I nearly ran over one of the boys.

Basketball

I was playing basketball with a group of guys. They were very nice and were surprised at how well I could play. Afterwards, we all went to the house of one of the guys. I had a crush on him. He was very tall and good looking. He was showing me pictures of his family and his parents and grandparents were all different races, which I thought was very cool. Omar was there and everyone was planning on spending the night at his house so we could get up early the next morning and go on a basketball trip. I told them I hadn't brought any clothes or a toothbrush with me, so I wouldn't be able to spend the night. My phone rang and it was Holly. She was at my apartment and was crying. I told her I wasn't home, but to wait there for me and I'd be right over. I told the guys I had to go, but then things kept happening and I ended up staying. We were horsing around, dancing and eating. Somehow we ended up at a river. I was afraid to jump in because I could see rocks underneath the water, so I eased into the water. I really liked the tall guy and swam next to him. It was a slow moving river and we let the current carry us downstream. Then I remembered that Holly was waiting on me and I tried to swim against the current to get back to my house.

Cole and His New House

I was visiting Cole at his new house. His bedroom was downstairs and there was a loft upstairs. He was having a party and I followed a girl up to the loft. We laid down on the bed together. There was a huge picture window on the wall at the foot of the bed and swimming pool outside. Another girl came upstairs and it seemed she was in a trance. She walked to the window and opened it. Cole came upstairs and I told him I thought the girl was going to try and jump out. He walked up next to her and tried to snap her out of her trance, but she just kept staring down at the water. When he turned his head, she jumped. I ran to the window and looked down into the pool. There were a lot of people swimming around, but no sign of the girl. I yelled at the lifeguard and told her that someone had just jumped from the window. She blew her whistle and cleared the pool, but we couldn't see the girl anywhere. I wanted to jump in and look for her, but I was afraid I would disappear too.

The Perez Family Suicide

Megann Perez and her family were being hunted by a crazy murderer. He went to a restaurant where he thought they were eating and killed everyone with a machine gun. Megann and Carlos heard of the murders and decided they had no chance of hiding from him. They gathered all of their children into a bedroom, and along with themselves, hung everyone from the ceiling and cut their throats. I went into their house, opened the bedroom door and found them all dead except for Cade, who had somehow survived. As I was leaving the house, I saw Anne Ham, her granddaughters, and a bunch of teachers pull up in the driveway. I told them that they shouldn't let the kids go into the house and explained what I had just witnessed. 

Caesar Milian

I got a phone call from a guy who said his last name was Milian and he wanted to ask me out on a date. Then I realized it was Nicole Milian's dad. I was checking the calendar on my phone to see if I was available for a date. He came over to my house and I was laying on my bed. He saw an open bag of weed sitting on the floor and asked me if I wanted to split a bag of really good weed with him.

Seance with Dawn

I was with Dawn Brown and we were going to a seance/reading with a psychic in a cabin in Colorado. I was in a car with Sam and we were driving up into the mountains. I came to a steep hill covered in mud and couldn't get my car up it, so I parked at the bottom and carried Sam up in a baby carrier for dogs that was strapped across my chest. I was the first one to arrive and went into a room where there were lots of beds and a table in the middle of the room. More people started to arrive and Anthony Gardner walked into the room. He kept trying to talk me into getting back together with him, but I wasn't interested at all. Sam needed to go outside, so I opened a door onto an icy back porch. Sam jumped off the porch onto the ground where there was a huge dog. I ran after Sam, trying to protect him from the dog.

River Rafting with Meryl and Scheryl

Scheryl and I were on a river rafting adventure vacation together. The guide teamed us up with Meryl Streep and her daughter. I was happy about this because I love the movie "River Wild" and had a lot of confidence in Meryl's ability to get us down the river safely. We were sitting around a campfire talking and I kept wanting to take a picture of Meryl, but didn't want to annoy her.

Nap Dream - Steve Carell

I don't remember all of the dream, but at the end I was laying on my stomach on a bed in some shorts. Steve Carell was sitting next to me, rubbing my ass. His hand slipped down to my pussy and I jumped and told him to stop. He said, "Aw, come on! You know you like it!" I started laughing and woke up.

Marijuana Edibles

I was on a road trip with Kristi Cain to California. We had brought camping equipment so we didn't have to spend money on hotels and were driving west through the Texas Panhandle. In the dream, Texas bordered Colorado. We crossed into Colorado and next to the Visitor's Information building, there was a marijuana store. We went inside and started talking to the 3 guys who owned it. It was set up like a living room and there were glass jars full of different kinds of marijuana and edibles all around the room. They all started eating stuff. I took what looked like a kale chip out of one of the jars, put some butter on it, and ate it. They all started getting high, but I couldn't feel any effects. I suggested to Kristi that we not go all the way to California, but just spend our vacation in Colorado. She wanted to try to get to Ft. Collins that evening and I told her I had friends there we could stay with. Then I showed her on google maps that we were still 8 hours from Ft. Collins and that maybe we should just spend the night there. The guys told us that they lived across the border in a town called Sparks, Texas because it was cheaper than living in Colorado. We ended up sleeping on a pull-out couch in the marijuana store. When I woke up the next morning, the guys were all asleep on the floor and there was marijuana everywhere. I started cleaning up and sweeping the marijuana into a pile.

Communal Living and a Blue Book Test

I had to take a test for some type of certification. I was supposed to write an essay in a blue book, but I wrote it on paper instead. When time was up, I realized that I needed to transfer everything into the blue book, so I took the test with me. I lived with Erin and her family and we all went out to eat at Hooters. We were sitting outside under a covered picnic area and I saw a group of Lincoln teachers there eating "all you can eat" hamburgers. They had a huge pile of hamburgers on the table and Ann Goff was fixing them for everyone. We went back to Erin's house and Susan was there living with us. We were taking turns in the shower getting ready to go somewhere and Susan was leaving a huge mess in the bathroom. The test was still on my mind, but I could never find the time to rewrite it in the blue book. I was out running errands and Erin called me and told me she would rewrite the test for me, but since I had already started, our handwriting wouldn't match. I was so grateful that she would do that for me, and realized how much I liked our communal living arrangement. It was nice always having people around to help out.

Nap Dream - On Drugs with Scheryl

I was with Scheryl at her house and we were sitting around talking with Cole and a bunch of his friends. The girl sitting next to me gave me a pill, but I didn't feel any effects. Alan was trying to work, so Scheryl decided we should all go over to her parents' house. It was on the west side by the mall. When we got out of the car to go inside, I suddenly felt drunk and realized it was the pill I had taken. We walked into the house without knocking and went straight to the kitchen. Her parents were sitting on the couch watching TV. They had a modern house except for a weird yellow contraption in the kitchen and something on the wall in the dining room. There was a stone carving around the fireplace of a photograph of her mom when she was a little girl. Then Scheryl showed me where her dad had tried to do some painting but had never finished. He had started to spray paint a chandelier red, but her mom had said she didn't like it, so he stopped midway through the job. There was red paint on the ceiling and wall around the chandelier. I was feeling really loopy and kept wandering through their house looking at everything. They had a dog that was following me around and wouldn't leave me alone. As we were leaving, I saw a bunch of baby birds huddled together on the ground by the gate. They were cold and were trying to stay warm. We got back in the car to go get Sonic drinks and Cole's friend was laughing at me when she saw how the drug was affecting me. I was telling them about the birds and then the dog tried to jump into the car with us.

Dancing with a Boy

I was at a school event with mom. There were parents there asking me for advice on helping their children succeed in school. Mom thought the parents were really overbearing and didn't understand why they were so worried about their children. One of the moms had a daughter who went to Pre-K at Jefferson and she was asking me questions about what type of handwriting program to use with her child. I told her that I used to be a teacher at Jefferson. I was walking around the room and a little boy ran up to me and said, "Ms. Wood! Ms. Wood!" I recognized him from Jefferson, but I couldn't remember his name. He was so happy to see me. I gave him a hug and then said, "Let's dance!" We began waltzing around the room and everyone stopped to watch us. He was a very good dancer and we moved around the room with ease.

Teaching Middle School Boys

I was a student teacher at a middle school. There were a lot of boys in my class and they were very rowdy. I was trying to teach social studies and they were being rude and not paying attention. I went home that night and read lots of articles about how to work with adolescent boys and came back the next day much more prepared.

Trip to Australia

Lia, Kathy, Melodye, and I were on another trip together - to Slovakia! Our plane landed in Perth, Australia for a layover and we decided to stay for a couple of days. We were walking through downtown and stopped in an antique store. I found a pencil box I really wanted but I didn't know the exchange rate, so couldn't figure out how much it cost. The clerk was trying to help me and she said, "Divide the price in half and then add six inches." I was so confused! As we were walking back to the little shack we were staying in, Melodye walked past a homeless man and pinched him on the arm. He started chasing after her, then whipped out a boomerang and threw it, barely missing her. We got back to our little shack at the foot of a mountain, and my dogs were asleep in my bed. I had forgotten that we brought them with us and was so happy to see them. Lia said we should get dressed up in our best "skin on skin" outfits and go out (no idea what that means, but is probably related to our skinnydipping on the 4th of July.) As we were walking back downtown we saw some women on bikes waving at us with their hands upside down. Kathy said, "That's the way they wave in Australia. G'day mates!"